CompassCast™

No doubt you're familiar with Black Friday. And most of us have now heard of Cyber Monday and now Black Thursday, Small Business Saturday, and this year Giving Tuesday. It seems everyone wants to get in on the act.

Not one to disappoint, I am getting in on the act this year too and I need your help.

Our mission: Decipher December.

Here's the back story:

Today I went into a Super-Walmart to purchase some cleaning supplies, paint, motor oil and some food. I waited in line for what seemed like forever and finally it was my turn. I watched as the cashier mindlessly scanned in all my items; robotically listening beep-beep-beep. He turned to me and said, "Fifty six dollars and sixty five cents.”  I opened up my wallet and pulled out three twenties.  He looked at me and asked, "Out of sixty?” 

I politely replied, “We’ll see.  Just wait.”  And proceeded to look / dig into my pocket.  I produced three quarters and while doing so could see out of the corner of my eye a look of fear descend upon his brow. 

Then I produced a one dollar bill.   He looked at me in complete confusion.

"Not out of sixty?” he asked.   

“No," I replied.  And before he could figure out the amount that I had handed him and type it into the register, I interjected, “Can you tell my how much you are going to give me back before you type it in?!”

He looked at me startled for a second, then looked at the other people in line, then paused and meekly asked, “Ten dollars and ten cents?” 

“No,” I said.  “Five dollars and ten cents.”  He gave me an evil eye and with a hope for vindication on his face he typed 61.75 into the cash register. "Huhm,” he said as he gave me my change. 

Some man in the back of line yelled, “It ‘aint like the old days!”   

“No it’s not,” I shouted back.

“What is going on in our country?” I pondered as I walked to my car.  “How can we ever hope to get our country on solid financial footing if people can’t even make change without a machine?”

Then I thought of it.

And this is where you come in.

Decipher December.

All YOU have to do is do one thing:

Whenever you buy anything during the month of December – as you hand the person at the cash register your money, simply say, “Tell me the change before you enter it in and let’s see if we’re right.”  Of course that means you need to figure out the change too so you can confirm or deny their answer before they type the numbers in.

Now I am sure you are thinking, “OK, will do, but only if there’s not a line.”

Nope.  Do it even if there is a long line.  It’s good practice (and entertainment) for everybody to dust off that part of their brain and do some thinking while they are waiting.

This Thanksgiving, as you gorge yourself with turkey, fixins' and rest for a massive shopping spree on the next day, remember the following:

1. The pilgrims were illegal aliens.
2. Border fence? Not even an ocean thousands of miles wide could keep those who wanted in from getting in.
3. The pilgrims came here not because it was perfect but because it was better.
4. The pilgrims came here to work and create a life not for a hand out.
5. The pilgrims had faith -- and I don't mean faith in god -- they had faith that things would work out.
6. The pilgrims came at the worst time of the year -- just before winter -- and they still survived.
7. The first pilgrims to arrive didn't steal anybody's jobs. Instead they dug up burial sites and stole food stored by the locals. Then a few years later, they invited two leaders from the locals over for food and murdered them.
8. The pilgrims came here to practice religious freedom believing that state religions impinged on the freedom of conscience.  They would probably not be in favor of our 1954-modified pledge of allegiance or motto, adopted in 1956, "In God we Trust."
9. Thanksgiving wasn't about a big party with loads of food while you contemplated how you were going to get the best bang for your buck the next day. It was solemn. It was about praising and thanking God. If the pilgrims here today they would probably by in a church praying and not at the dinner table or watching parades, football and old Christmas movies.  When is the last time you prayed around gratitude instead of asking for a "fix" or a "solution"?
10. The Pilgrims didn't "count their blessings" as so many people do these days on Thanksgiving day. They were truly grateful.  Period. Imagine for a moment that during the 12 months HALF your family and friends died. Not one. Not two. HALF. Would you, like the pilgrims, be able to find gratitude at the end of all that?  They did. And they did it without Prozac or mental health counseling.

Why do we forget these facts? Why don't these images of what America was at the start shape our Thanksgiving traditions by filling us with emotions?  Emotions like shame for what happened to the locals by the "illegals". Emotions like openness for our current "illegal" who continue to want to come her because it is better-not-perfect. Emotions like faith and hope?  Why don't we think of church and prayer on Thanksgiving?

Instead our minds are filled with an image of a green bean casserole.

Play hard.  We hear that a lot from life / business coaches.  Unfortunately, many of us hardly play.

I wonder why that is.  Maybe because we think we can't.  Maybe because we think there is no one behind us.  Maybe because we are so paralyzed by our own drama. 

So when we se someone whose life goes against this current of self-doubt and self-centeredness, we are inspired.

I recently came across this report from CBS New about Jason McElwain, a high school basketball team manager. Take in this video and if you are inspired, as I was, take a moment and tell me why you think that is -- personally -- what values of yours does it bring to the forefront as you watch this news clip?  (I'll post the first comment so you can see what I mean).

Watch this video completely before you read the rest of this blog post:

What did you think of the video?  How did you react to it?  More importantly, why did you react to it the way you did?

Most likely you reacted because of an assumption: you either ASSUMED the video was about something or you ASSUMED the video appeared to be about something that it wasn't. You waited for the "punch" line.

Assumptions are the JOY of our existence.  

Assumptions add spice to life.  A joke would not be a joke if it were not for assumptions.  The jolts we get from the "punch" line happens because we assume one thing and wham! We get another.  Cliff-hangers in movies are built on assumptions.  We are able to drive down the road in complete confidence because we can assume with 100% faith that every other driver will obey the rules around the yellow lines in the middle of the road.  When they don't, what happens? You got it, an "accident."  We never get in an "in-purpose" car wreck.

Assumptions are also the BANE of our existence.  

The wife assumes her husband will value the same thing as she does.  The husband assumes his wife will value the same thing as he does.  Conflict ensues.  No I am not talking about whether you like your eggs sunny-side up and your spouse likes them scrambled.  I am talking about values around things like money, family, fidelity, children, education, leisure, and career.  

Think about your conflicts in the past twelve months.  How many of them come down to not being clear on values?  Truth is, you probably had conversations about values when you first were "courting."  "Do you want kids some day?"  "Where would you like to retire?"  Truth also is there are probably values you skipped over because although you didn't agree, you were in love.  AND those values may have shifted.

People Change!  

Do you value the same music you listened to in high school?  If you are like me (any most others) your answer is probably "No." I loved Pink Floyd when I was in  my senior year in high school, freshman and sophomore year in college. I was not just a fan - I was a fanatic. Opera was horrid. A month ago I went to the second of Wagner's ring series.  I haven't listened to Floyd in over a year.

Are you holding onto the same values in your relationship?  How is it hurting you?